Psychology for Robots

Dicking around in my clinical psychology class...
I registered for this course in order to decide whether I should continue with psychology into grad school. So far I have gone to class a total of 4 times (only to watch online tv) and I have a 102. This is not meant to impress. Out of 50 students 2 have B's. The rest: A's. Ultimately this is great for me: minimal effort, maximum results. However, let's take a look as to why so many students in this class are such high achievers.

We'll start with a sampling from a slide we went over in class today titled, "157 Things To Do To Regulate Emotions." (Keep in mind that this list was made by my middle aged female professor who resembles something similar to this)

1. Soaking in the bathtub
7. Recycling old items
28. Gambling
30. Eating like a piggy pig pig
36. Wearing sexy clothes

Let’s just take a moment to really breathe that one in.

38. Taking care of my plants
45. Thinking about buying things
60. Thinking I'm an OK person
72. Going to clubs (garden, Parents without Partners, etc)
76. Flirting
98. Thinking I have a lot more going for me than most people
102. Thinking about sex
132. Thinking "I did that pretty well" after doing something
171. Erotica (sex books, movies)

Let's recap. So far we have 171 items on a list of 157 things to do in order to regulate emotions.

We then proceeded to go over self-soothing techniques through each of our senses. This is another way to regulate our emotions. Let's zip on over to "smell":

"Use your favorite perfume or lotions, or try them on in the store!; spray fragrance in the air, put a bowl of popcorn in your room, bake cookies, cake or bread. Smell the roses. Breathe in the fresh smells of nature."

Upon reading "bake cookies" out loud she then exclaimed, "But only chocolate chip! Oatmeal raisin is just so gross."

Quite obviously there are only two forms of cookies.


I think my decision about graduate school was just made for me.

Fashion Smashion

There's an old man sitting next to me in my Native American Justice (dear god-don't ask) class.

Wait.

A double take proves him to be a fraternity member. My mistake. Perhaps it was the footwear. Men's sandals with a strap around the ankle can be a common identification. If that wasn't it, maybe it was the pink plaid shorts. ....Or the sunglasses with the strap so you don't drop them when you're....walking to class. Or maybe it was just the receding hairline.
But most likely it was the goddamn Guy Harvey t-shirt he was wearing.
Why, in the name of Prada, why, are there fish flying around lighthouses?!?! Who looks at that and thinks, "Wow! Looks like a great shirt! Watch those fish go!"

Old men model the clothing on the website. Typically when I'm shopping for up and coming fashion I don't go to a site where menopausal women make their last attempt at fame.
If this isn't an indication of poor fashion sense I direct you towards any fraternity gathering complete with pleated khaki's and navy blue blazers. And yet somehow they get some of the finest pussy available at your college campus.
The dating scene surrounding Greek society never ceases to amaze.

Kate Hudson or David Bowie?

You be the judge.